Freedom of Expression, Chutzpah, and the Israeli Psyche

I'd like to touch on something that I wrote about in my last blog-the freedom of expression and chutzpah that are characteristic of Israeli society. As I said, I was most struck by this element of Israeli culture. Although it takes some getting used to, I believe that free expression--and yes chutzpah--as it exists in Israel is, on balance, a good thing.

Growing up in the United States, I was conditioned to take extraordinary care that I never offended anyone. As I grew up, the notion of political correctness grew with me. During the 1990's and early 2000's, I experienced an ever-evolving phenomenon wherein less and less could be said on the grounds that someone, anyone, might find it offensive or objectionable.

Some of this is completely fine. I have no problem with not saying ethnic, racial, or sexist slurs, for example. In fact, I think that people should refrain from doing so.

Other parts of it I find problematic, however. Most obvious are the expressions that Americans use to get around describing someone who possesses a trait which society deems undesirable. Old people are not old; they are 'older'. Fat people are not fat; they have a 'weight problem.' Poor people are not poor; they are 'monetarily challenged,' etc. You get the point.

The fact of the matter is that old people, fat people, and poor people all exist, and this is completely fine. Instead of trying to circumvent someone's age or weight or income through extreme sensitivity and political correctness, society should just accept people for who they are and move on. In fact, I think that saying someone is 'older' instead of 'old' exacerbates things. It suggests that one's condition is so bad that we don't even want to talk about it. Moreover, saying that someone is 'older' as opposed to 'old' does nothing to address the underlying issue, which, incidentally, I do not find so bad. People get old. So what?

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Americans, at least in my experience, are conditioned not to express certain emotions--most especially anger--within social circumstances. But, in reality, people do get angry and upset and frustrated. This is completely natural. And again, not expressing emotions does nothing to alleviate the underlying situation.

What this engenders is a society wherein one is constantly walking on egg shells, thinking about every single word in order not to offend someone. This creates a culture wherein no one can say what they really think or feel because it may be deemed offensive or politically incorrect.

And what happens if you do make a mistake and say something which could be construed as being offensive? You run the risk of getting sued, that's what.

I am a sensitive person who is very aware of the emotions of the person to whom I am speaking, but I believe that sensitivity and political correctness as it currently exists in the US has gone too far. So far that it impedes the flow of honest and open discourse.

In Israel, I found a very different situation. Israeli culture is predicated upon argument. The immediate and almost involuntary reaction of any Israeli to almost anything that you say is "No." For example, "Do you have change for twenty shekels (about five dollars)?," I ask the cashier who does, in fact, have change. "No." "Can I see the doctor,?" I ask the woman at the clinic when the doctor is sitting in his room. "No, go somewhere else." "Can you help me with signing up for classes," I ask the academic secretary. "No. It's not my responsibility."
I disagree. Whatever you said is wrong and, in fact, the exact opposite is true. No, no way, absolutely not.

But along with this comes the freedom--short of insulting or attacking the person you are talking to--of saying nearly anything. And this is how Israeli society works. I say one thing. You say the opposite. And then we argue for however long it takes to figure out who wins. One quickly learns that the best way to win such arguments is to be as loud and demonstrative as possible--as angry and direct as one can be. People who are polite, considerate and deferential get stepped upon. Hence, the characteristic Israeli rudeness. Israeli society is defined by a constant, unrelenting war of words, and chutzpah wins battles.

This system does not work in the arena of customer service. It's maddening when someone, whose job is to provide service to the public, refuses to help simply because they don't feel like it or it's inconvenient.

A good example. I was unable to schedule an appointment with my doctor over the internet because the site of the health care provider wasn't working. Fine. So, I went to the clinic itself and spoke to someone, essentially in customer service, who told me that I couldn't
schedule an appointment because my file had not arrived from my previous clinic. (I had moved to another section of town.) So, she called the previous clinic and spoke to someone there. He told her to call tomorrow. "Show up tomorrow," she said. Okay, this is understandable. The next day I show up, the file isn't there, and no one has spoken to anyone. I speak to one of the representatives again, explaining my situation. She tries to call the previous clinic a couple of times, but no one answers. Eventually, she just gives up and tells me that I am completely unable to schedule an appointment with my doctor in the foreseeable future and that if I have an emergency I should see the nurses. What the fuck? I was not surprised when I heard that Israeli customer service is among the worst in the world.

Apart from customer service, however, I believe that the Israeli system is better in a number of respects. First, of all, however you feel--if you are angry or upset or frustrated--no one has a problem if you express your emotions. In fact, emotional expression is encouraged. This leads to more genuine, open relationships and more honest, real discourse about actual feelings. Indeed, I have much more meaningful relationships in Israel than I do in the US.

Israeli society is also much more flexible than society in the US. Instead of relying on protocol and policy like America, issues here are mostly decided on a case by case basis. Most of the time, problems are solved through a process of argument and explanation without recourse to people in positions of authority or to official protocol. Instead of speaking to an organization with a set of rules one speaks to an individual. In any given case, one is free to explain his or her situation and argue for him or herself. This is one of the reasons that Israelis are so adept at handling changing situations and crises.

For instance, a few weeks ago, I received a letter from the library telling me that every single book that I had was due. So, acting on a hunch, I went to the library, spoke to someone at the desk, and explained that I was registered as a student for the next year. She simply took my student card, saw the sticker for the next year of study, and entered my name in the computer. I was registered as a student and the books were no longer due. Problem solved. The entire thing took about a minute. I am certain that in the US, if the same situation were to occur, things would have taken much longer.

The freedom of expression characteristic of Israeli society extends to all spheres of life. People are completely free to criticize the government and to engage in nonviolent protests. I have never seen so many protests--protests by angry Charedim about a parking lot open on shabbat; protests by students about tuition increases; frequent protests about the Gaza Strip; a protest by community members about the closing of a pool. Such freedom to criticize the existing state of affairs is an intrinsic good.

Finally, as a result of this constant argument, Israelis have very thick skin. The argumentation which characterizes Israeli society has a salutary effect on the psyches of its members. Israelis don't take offense as easily as Americans. Something that would be considered inappropriate or offensive in the US is commonplace here. Israelis also have a tremendous capacity to retain their balance and equanimity. Two people who have just engaged in a long, heated argument have no problem staying friends. Despite what the Western media might suggest, in truth, Israelis are a very nonviolent people and rarely use physical attacks or personal insults. The constant struggle that takes place among us here is conducted through words, not violent actions. Ultimately, living in Israel makes one a stronger, better person.

Freedom of expression as it exists in Israel--with all of its insensitivity, offensiveness, and chutzpa--is preferable to the the extreme sensitivity which characterizes discourse in the US. Here, I am not walking on eggshells, always afraid that I am going to offend or insult someone. Life here takes some getting used to, but I think that it is far healthier.

There is a feeling in Israel that, "we are all friends." We are all members of the same family working toward a common goal. And like a family we are open and direct with one another. Ultimately, then, the source of Israeli insensitivity and chutzpah is not widespread dislike and scorn but its very opposite, a universal friendship.